I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
