that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Its about making memories worth repressing
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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