the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
