I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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