she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
