Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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