I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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