I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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