You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
