if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
