i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
