Quick, to the slutcave!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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