Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
