His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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