well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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