Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
