He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
