got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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