I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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