I think I died a long time ago.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
there's paper in my vomit.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
