I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
