And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
