Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
