I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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