Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
