Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
