Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
