drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
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