is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
