im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
