Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Thank you for not boning my boss.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
