shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
