i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
