Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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