I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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