Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize