As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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