im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I can text with my tongue
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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