Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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