Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
