So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
