I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
