my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
