i barfeds in our rink
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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