I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
