I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Hippo gnu deer
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
