His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Randomize
