you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
