i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
