I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
