Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
