sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
