Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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