Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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