I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
