I want to stick my p in your. b.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
