we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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